May 2, 2017

Giving up is not the answer [Rejected Admission]

I’ve been in a position when my life seems at its lowest. Sun, sky, and flowers seem so dark and death. I felt so pointless, useless, and alone. It was the hardest feeling in my life to accept the fact that I was left behind when it was the moment where I should be hugged, I was rejected when it was the moment where I should be shined, and I was ignored when it was the moment where I should be supported.

At that moment, I felt that life was so unfair and living was an unnecessary thing to do. With the problems that bring endless pain to my life, I felt that I couldn’t get up and would never be able to stand. Every time I felt that I stepped up one stair higher, life pushed me 2 or even 3 stairs far backward till I did not have strength to move.

After ages been hit by the sorrow, I started to look at my surrounding and realized there are lots of people who are far behind me and I’m so fortunate I could be in this position. Although it is painful, I believe it is not as painful as those who are struggling that much. It was so unbelievable that they could survive. Then I think, “They have been in the position that far worse than me, but they nailed it. Why can’t I?” In that point I realized giving up is not the answer, and I have to take another step stronger than before.

This is the turning point in my life where I could finally see life from different glasses. I could not deny my sadness, nor could I easily skip it. However, I tried to take my step higher by be grateful for where I stand today. I stop seeing life negatively, but see it as a priceless gift. A gift that help you to think about yourself and be a better person, a gift that could open your eyes and see how beautiful and fortunate are you, a gift that make you finally think that the hope is there and you are about to nail it not for other people but simply for you, to make yourself proud and happier than before.

I realized, you will never be able to find happiness if you keep finding ones, instead you just have to make what you have now to be the reason of your happiness by be thankful with whatever condition you are now facing.