I’ve been in a position when my life seems at its lowest. Sun,
sky, and flowers seem so dark and death. I felt so pointless, useless, and
alone. It was the hardest feeling in my life to accept the fact that I was left
behind when it was the moment where I should be hugged, I was rejected when it
was the moment where I should be shined, and I was ignored when it was the
moment where I should be supported.
At that moment, I felt that life was so unfair and living was
an unnecessary thing to do. With the problems that bring endless pain to my
life, I felt that I couldn’t get up and would never be able to stand. Every
time I felt that I stepped up one stair higher, life pushed me 2 or even 3
stairs far backward till I did not have strength to move.
After ages been hit by the sorrow, I started to look at my
surrounding and realized there are lots of people who are far behind me and I’m
so fortunate I could be in this position. Although it is painful, I believe it
is not as painful as those who are struggling that much. It was so unbelievable
that they could survive. Then I think, “They have been in the position that far
worse than me, but they nailed it. Why can’t I?” In that point I realized
giving up is not the answer, and I have to take another step stronger than
before.
This is the turning point in my life where I could finally
see life from different glasses. I could not deny my sadness, nor could I easily
skip it. However, I tried to take my step higher by be grateful for where I
stand today. I stop seeing life negatively, but see it as a priceless gift. A gift
that help you to think about yourself and be a better person, a gift that could
open your eyes and see how beautiful and fortunate are you, a gift that make
you finally think that the hope is there and you are about to nail it not for
other people but simply for you, to make yourself proud and happier than before.
I realized, you will never be able to find happiness if you
keep finding ones, instead you just have to make what you have now to be the
reason of your happiness by be thankful with whatever condition you are now facing.