My parents do not love me

Ever feel so?

I used to think that way..

We know that family is the people who (supposedly) love you, care of you, and you feel like home when they are around.

Every people always have different kind of family and expectation towards their family. And I.. I always envy my friends' families who travel a lot, who have parents like friends (understand u a lot), who rich, who funny, and so many things.

Sounds great huh? having a perfect family like I stated above?

Does it mean I do not have a perfect family?

hmm let's see..

I can say my family is individualist and people inside (me, my brother, and my parents) are like robots and home is a place for us to take a rest and eat. We have different life, different schedule, and business. We wake up and come back home at different time depend on our schedule bcs we don't have certain habit that require us to be in the same place together. We rarely talk to each other, and even it is possible for me to not meet my father / my brother for 2 or 3 days. Not because they did not come back home, but because we are too busy with our business in our room or my father who is too busy with his jobs that makes him wake up too early and come back home too late. They also rarely angry at me whenever I come back home very late or if my GPA do not meet their expectation.

See the problem in my fam? yes! it's communication.

I never told my life story to my family, especially about my bf because I think they don't care, and if they care I just don't want to add another burden in their heads. Besides, they rarely ask me about my life problems so it's better for me to remain silent because they do not want to hear or simply do not care up until..... I got a problem.

This problem was quiet serious for me and I was asking lot of people advices. Some of the advices said that I should tell my mother because I would feel relieve and feel safe so I could get better sooner. I tried, but yes it sounded like my mother did not care so I did not continue my story and still I feel anxious.. for a long time..

Then I have this guy who helped me a lot. He is my brother's friend, he lives in my house, and I could see that he cares about me that much. Thus, I decided to tell him my unimportant story. I told him my problems, how I turned to be shit, and my communication probs with my fam.

Surprisingly.... He told me something.. something unbelievable.

He told me that my parents really care of me and love me that much.

but.. really?

He said Yes! without me telling them that I am having a problem, They know. They exactly know whenever I have the problems and they did feel my sadness. They never showed it, but he told me that my father always ask my condition and my problems. A simple thing that my brother's friend told me that you guys might probably want to try is.. whenever you are having a problem, see the face changing in your parents. They will.. definitely change their faces because they simply feel sad and feel pity with us, their gold. I tried, and it was real.

It's true that parents are the people who know us well more than anyone else. It's true that love do not have to be shown directly to us, but you actually can feel it. Believe me, if you think your parents do not love you, open your eyes and think again! even you are in the very worst condition, remember that your mother still want to give birth to you and let you alive which mean she loves you. And if you think your family is not perfect, look around and be thankful :) you probably expect something for your family, but be reminded that nobody perfect and be thankful that they love you that's what matters most. Although they do not show it, open your eyes! they actually did but we pretend to be blind because we are focusing ourselves to find the perfection.

be thankful, at least we still have them and ever felt their love in our life :)