Welcome '13

welcome 2013!!!!!!!!! welcome new year!!!!! I'm gonna be seventeen this year! Yuhuuuu...l'm so excited with 2013!!!! Hope hope hope this year will be my year, pass national exam with a good result, pass UNPAD as my future 'PTN' and learn to be the best communication student there! success for the year book!!!!!! have a best seventeen party ever!! and have a best trip with friends this year! Best boyfriend this yearr{} and soo manyyy wishes.....ahhrrggg i'm so excited with this year! let's hope for the best and be strong to handle any problem :") let's control the situations, and don't let the situation controls you! :)

Old post, 2009

What did you feel if you love someone but it goes to waste? when you start to believe that he was  the only one and you will do everything for him, and the whole expectation that you made together just a full of bullshit, and every single things you have done was just nothing to him? Can you imagine how hurt? i've felt more. You love him, and he said he felt that feeling too, but the reality is different. You still can't come together, "force love", "pity", was one of the reason. But those reasons don't make any sense to you. He can and he should did more if he really love you, but he did nothing, he just let you sad and get bad with this condition, the condition where you are forced to always compliant, be patient, and left behind. But you still love him no matter the condition is.

hey sorry.. it's not because i can't move on but i don't want to.. I know i did the same mistakes twice, and this time was the worse. But am i wrong with this feeling? Am i wrong that i'm fall in love with you? :(  oh god, i just want to love and be loved :(

deterioration

halloo long time not posting this blog. Actually i was on the very top of deterioration of my life. I have a lot of problems and have a lot of exercises and task. I'm sooo tireed being me :( every night i slept at 1 am and woke up at 5.30 am just to finish my stupid homeworks. and the only person who i think can help me to minimize this tired feeling was my boyfriend. But my expectations was so far with the reality. every single day and every single time we fought. always checking my phone and he always found something there. and the problems always began from there. I'm fine if he is checking my phone, but sometimes i need my privacy. should he know everything? i never checked his phone, i trust him but him? even i know there's something in your phone i'm still trust him. How disappointed i'am.... Huffy can you please just help me to make me little bit comfortable? i know and i see that you're really care and love me, but without that thing i'm still understand about your feeling. hmm... How about checking phone but not everyday? And try to trust me...?

vin, hmm... I love you for sure, i don't want to make you sad and dissapointed anymore... I tried my best, and i know i can't.... :(  a thousand sorry for you, and i know i'm not the right one

study spirit!

holiday comee! but, this holiday i'm not really excited not like my previous holiday. this holiday is my first holiday in twelve grade in my school, and at this time the spirit of learning and study are very big! but, when the first time this feeling came(the spirit of learning) the holiday was coming too.. how unlucky i am :( i'm just afraid when the holiday ends and  I have to go back to school the spirit will gone while i need it most... how desperate i am with school subjects and with the school too. the one thing that can make my spirit up actually are my friends. but i try to make the spirit from my own. to make it burn i always think for my future, if i don't study now what job will i get in the future? and that motto always rise me up :')

exam,holiday

hello world! Final exam was done and i don't know and don't care about the result. i don't expect too much for the result because honestly i didn't study seriously and not enough prepared for the exam. So let's forget about the exam and say hello to my holiday! I'am really excited with holiday and bali! after 1 week fight for the exam, every night just studied, opened book and memorized the formula finally it's time for us to feel the holidaay! I am very grateful my school made a plan, and the plan is we are going to dewata's island, yuhuuuuuuuuuuuu....... Can't waitt :3 17th june 2012 on sunday morning we will go there by bus and come back to jakarta at 23th on evening. Hope we will get a nice trip and a fun trip! Can't waitt rvrsd goes to bali!

what a 'zonk' day

Last thursday... me, dira,miranti, and sarah went to 'Dunia Fantasi' amusement park. we went there by trans jakarta, we left home at 11 o'clock and arrived at dunia fantasi at 12.30 am . When we arrived at there we are so surprised because it was not crowded like usual... so we are so excited at first. There is not even queue in each vehicle, so we rode again and again until finally we feel so sick and nausea. we took a rest for a while and ate bakso at planet bakso near by. We wasted our time so loong it's about 1 or 2 hour. Then after we took a rest we decided to rode a vehicle which doesn't made us sick.. After we rode 3 vehicles, we decided to go back to kind of extreme vehicle. When we wanted to rode roller coaster twice, there was an announcement who said that the amusement park was about to close. And it's 6 o'clock. What-the-hell!? I consent that dunia fantasi usually closes at 8 pm. And at that time it made me so disappointed. I tried to beg the guard to rode the roller coaster for the last time but he cannot :( so we left.. When we waited my mother to pick us up, we saw a huge black smoke and dira said that was a hurricane. We were so panic! Then we gone far away from the smoke and dinner at unknown restaurant in front of the beach. We were so hungry, we ate that foods because we didn't want to eat junk food anymore, and unfortunately the food was not delicious... Hem, that day was a zonk dayy everrr!>.<

Sisterhood

Dwiantisa Fazria , yes she has becoming my younger sister since 2007. the first time i know you was from my junior and he was your ex-boyfriend, i knew your msn address and i added you at that time. since that day we were getting closer and closer. I felt that we were so match! so i asked you to become my sister. You agreed! I was very happy because i don't have sister and the figure of younger sister i can got it from you :) everyday, every night we always talked about everything. About friends, family, school, boys, anything about our life! you always gave me a solution in any problem that I had. every happiness and sorrow you always be there for me ;) thanks wii, i love you so much! But.... since i graduated from putra jhs and you were so busy with your school(because you must prepared for national exams) We were not that close again...:( no more greeting in my msn, no more story, no more listeners, no more solutions, no more you :'( day by day had gone by... I'm in grade 11th now, and you in your new school in grade 10th. The sadness thing was our relation was not as close as the first time :( Hey sis, how are you? Where are you? It's been soooo looong since we haven't talked... I miss you sis, i miss the moment when you greeted my msn every night, i miss when we talked about our boys we like, i miss when you always listened to my weird story. Let's repeat that moment! don't you miss it?:((((((((((( i miss you wi! Really really miss you....... when i started to try to fix this relation between you and me. Why i got the news that you had gone!????? why you didn't tell me that you weresick!? did you forget me? Your sister? wi......... Why i did not know you were sick and hospitalized!? i didn't even see you in hospital... :( Sorry i can't be a good sister for u, I was a stupid sister i didn't know you were sick, didn't see youu in hospital and the most stupid thing........ I was late to know you, you alreadyy passed away! :'( but i promise i will visit you laterrr wi... i'm really sorry wii, i love you and it always be! But why you leave me so earlyyy wiiii....... if you leave me, who will give me a solution as best as yours!!! who gonna listen to my problems? Every time i remember about our memories i just want to cry over and over again :( Nothing can replace you wii, you're still my best sister ever! I love you, Dwiantisa Fazria! rest in peace honey... I will always miss you :')